Prose Aficionado Gifts

I've got all the words I need for my novel, it's just a case of putting them in the right order.

Having finished writing his latest 400-page novel, Anton Chekhov divides it into 32 short stories,

Edgar Allen Poe

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Gunter Grass

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

Stephen Spender.

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

Treasure Island Book.

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

Mantis Love

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

Noel Coward.

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

My Literary Influences

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

Sherlock Holmes Museum: No Hounds.

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

Ironing Punctuation

Fyodor Dostoevsky

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

Editor.

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'