Prophecy Aficionados Gifts

'Here comes Orwell again - Get ready for some more of his 'I told you so.''

"He certainly knows how to milk an audience!"

65 Million Years Ago

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

'He followed me home...Can I kiss him?'

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

Witch's spell check.

"We're mythical. Have fun with it."

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

'I'm looking for a short synopsis of the future in digital format.'

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

"Yeah, you were Tolkein in your sleep. . ."

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

Information desk manned by a fortune teller.

'You've a broken lamp and your underlay's dangerously worn.'

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

"You're on kid. Break a string!"

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

'Thin enough?'

"Johnson's our head of forecasting, he alos works part-time as a successful science fiction writer."