Prophecy Aficionados Gifts

'Here comes Orwell again - Get ready for some more of his 'I told you so.''

"He certainly knows how to milk an audience!"

65 Million Years Ago

'One more curse out of you, young man, and it's right down to the principal's office.'

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

'He followed me home...Can I kiss him?'

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

Genie in bottle grants maid's wish.

Witch's spell check.

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

"We're mythical. Have fun with it."

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

The end is near.

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

Harry Potter playing see-saw with his broom.

'I'm looking for a short synopsis of the future in digital format.'

"Yeah, you were Tolkein in your sleep. . ."

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

Information desk manned by a fortune teller.

'You've a broken lamp and your underlay's dangerously worn.'

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

"You're on kid. Break a string!"

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

"Johnson's our head of forecasting, he alos works part-time as a successful science fiction writer."