Property Repair Gifts

'Oh my, your gutters do need a good clean...'

Jack of all trades

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Tool Box

'I found the termites!'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

A DIY disaster.

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."