Property Market Speculator T-Shirts

For sale by owner

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'I wonder how this is going to affect the market?'

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

Department of Pure Speculation.

Shoe house.

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

Wall Street Down

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"Some say we can't go on making millions forever, but I think they're wrong!"

"We're sitting on a landbank that could accommodate tens of thousands of new homes. We can wait a few years and generate even more profit..."

"I've just been gazumped!"

"Now do you see, Betty, what a little luck, a few sound investments and the shameless inflation of corporate profits through bogus transactions can buy."

Affordable housing

They lean more of how the universe began, but can't tell me where the market will end.

"No one knows what he does, but it's rumored that he's the guy who sets global oil prices."

'What I want you to do is spot any mistakes before I make them.'

The tumbling dice...

'It's got all the original features.'

"... And how long have you had this irrational fear that you'll never get a mortgage?"

"We're going to use the 6.4 million pounds to purchase a terraced in a run down area of Huddersfield."

Snail Homes

"I'm afraid the discovery of oil on your property will drive the price of your home down."

"He refuses to even consider getting an agent until our house has been on the market 700 days."

"When do we all start frantically buying gold again?"

"I think we have mice in the walls."

"I decided to buy a tiny house."