Market Speculator T-Shirts

"When do we all start frantically buying gold again?"

'What I want you to do is spot any mistakes before I make them.'

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

The tumbling dice...

'I wonder how this is going to affect the market?'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'On days when the stock market suffers sharp losses... it's best not to mention in recovery.'

"Belwood, the markets down...wake me ina week"

They lean more of how the universe began, but can't tell me where the market will end.

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

'Looks as if we got out of property at the right time...'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

"Just in case you want to invest, I've got a great idea for a dot.com startup."

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

Department of Pure Speculation.

Wall Street Down

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"We know stocks will go up but we don't know which ones or when."

Stock Market Adventure

"Some say we can't go on making millions forever, but I think they're wrong!"

"Now do you see, Betty, what a little luck, a few sound investments and the shameless inflation of corporate profits through bogus transactions can buy."

'I'm going to refer you to a doctor. You seem to have developed immunity to winning stocks.'

"No one knows what he does, but it's rumored that he's the guy who sets global oil prices."

Finance Director killed by falling profits

Man hugging bag of money, falling down a hole.

'Been toying with commodities again, have we?'

'A wonderful sermon, father; I liked the part about a time to sew and a time to reap. When would you say I should cover the naked December calls I sold last month?'

Bought Low, Sold Lower.

"In the tech sector, markets reacted strongly to news that ToadNoggle would acquire Zeepzer, ending rumors of a hostile takeover by FiffleBunny."

The worst is over...the worst is yet to come.