Stock Market Speculator T-Shirts

'I see your investments going up but it's not clear which ones or when.'

"None of that steady income and security crap! I just want to make a big, fat killing and check out."

'What do you think - good time to buy?'

Wall Street Down

"Now do you see, Betty, what a little luck, a few sound investments and the shameless inflation of corporate profits through bogus transactions can buy."

"You wouldn't believe how good they are. I'm making money on my asbestos and horseshoe stocks."

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'I wonder how this is going to affect the market?'

'There's no correlation to stock prices. It's just a 'feel good' graph.'

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

"Just in case you want to invest, I've got a great idea for a dot.com startup."

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

Department of Pure Speculation.

"This investment will make a pile of money. Of course, a good question is 'for whom?'"

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

"We know stocks will go up but we don't know which ones or when."

Stock Market Adventure

"Some say we can't go on making millions forever, but I think they're wrong!"

'George has us well diversified. We own every stock in the Misfortune 500.'

R. Chones, Financial Counselor: On Vacation. Watch Suze Orman.

They lean more of how the universe began, but can't tell me where the market will end.

"No one knows what he does, but it's rumored that he's the guy who sets global oil prices."

Aggressive investing.

Finance Director killed by falling profits

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

'What I want you to do is spot any mistakes before I make them.'

The tumbling dice...