Property Market Pessimist Pillows

City Centre Apartments/Investors Jumping Off Them

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

Shoe house.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

'Being afraid to buy a house doesn't make you homeophobic.'

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

Battery Farm Housing

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

Affordable housing

'Turned out nice again.'

'Hi, this is Wilbur Gurkenman, your real estate agent! I've found a single room apartment I think you can afford...'

'That's the Government for you every time.'

"Their entire friendship is based on regret over property they SHOULD have bought when it was affordable."

Housing bubble

'Here's a nice one, 'The Oaks', but where are the oaks?'

"Considering the rental market, this property offers a fantastic view, and they'll drop the restrictions."

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

Sign reads - For Sale Still Under A Million.

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

'Of course, the base price doesn't include the many upgrades available.'

'So when I couldn't pay the mortgage, the bank offered me this rescue package!'

'I will now make these excellent mortgage deals disappear!'

"No, it is right. The whole property market's going down the pan."

"I think we have mice in the walls."

Heavily Mortgaged and Mildly Peckish

"It's a rat hole, I warned you that you would have to share."

'Trust Me, I am an Estate Agent.'