Property Ladder Punter Pillows

'Don't worry about your daughter Sir: I'll find us a dump to live in...'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

Reverse Mortgage.

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

An exaggeration of estate agents

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

Mouse real estate!

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

House hunting is cruel.

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

Repossessions

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"The house is great, but compared to reality show realtors, you're a big disappointment."

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

'Bless. Wayne's made his first affordable home sand estate.'

Little Investment on the Praire

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

"You've heard of the bank that likes to say 'yes' well we're the bank that likes to laugh in your face unless you've got an 80% deposit."

'My expedition confirmed what we already suspected: Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered by water, and the rest by real estate!'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."