Entering The Property Ladder Pillows

"Did I mention it needed a little work?"

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"Look, son, real estate."

Reverse Mortgage.

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Home Sweet Second Home.

'Do you have anything right on the beach, but not so near the water?'

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

'This is close enough.'

Repossessions

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

Dog Realtor

'Don't wait too long to decide. A house with a view like this can go at any minute....'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

"Anything in Mr, Rogers' neighborhood?"

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.