Property Ladder Pillows

House Hunters

"I'm not casing this house - I'm coveting it."

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

House Keys.

Starter Home

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'I remember when all this was fields.'

"Look, son, real estate."

Reverse Mortgage.

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

"Yes, I'm sure you do deserve further career advancement. But if I promote you again you'll have my job!"

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Mouse real estate!

An exaggeration of estate agents

Home Sweet Second Home.

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

'I'm looking for someone to keep the blood off my hands.'

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'

'This is close enough.'

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."