Prop Comedian Gifts

"Old Testament prop comic."

"We're following Carrot Top."

Support group for sheep.

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Yes, I'm alone."

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

'Here's the CEO - Chief Egotistical Official!'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

Suddenly, Becky noticed something which gave her pause.

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

'I think it's really tacky to make the salesperson of the month someone from another firm.'

Ted Cruz announced he's running for president. He's not going to win. He was the first to announce. No first-announcer has won since 1952. Besides, his name's too similar to Tom Cruise. And Tom Cruise is so not in right now. HOJ. We should have our own political show. If I an do it shirtless, I'm in.

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

Comedy course highlights fake nose

'We've identified the reason for our earning's shortfall. It seems our company is run by a bunch of rabbits.'

Ferguson, Bramley, Osgood & Holt - Big Frogs in a Small Pond.

"Ugh, I need to hide - he has a strict policy about workplace dating."

'Hello, my name is Death'

"He can't tell his left from his right."

History's First Prop Gag

'I baked it especially for you.'

"Russia is run by rich oligarchs. America is run by rich insurance companies."

Street person selling bricks from wall he's leaning on.