Promise Breaker Humor Pillows

'He promised me that a cigar should never again touch his lips...!'

I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not in art class. I will not talk in art class.

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

This is your last warning, Jimmy - You break your pinky promise, we break your pinky.

"When you promised me a lift home...."

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"I'll let you ticket this one, Mick."

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

"I want something more out of this relationship. . . me!"

"I got whiplash when I recoiled from your quote."

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

Happy New Year!

'Let me try and explain this again, Paul. You are a 'free agent', and I'm the take-20-of-everything-you-make agent.'

"I now declare a thumb war."

"Are you wearing a sports bra?"

Get rich quick giving seminars!

'No way you're ever going to comply with all of THAT!'

'Have you ever seen that TV ad, 'Help, I'm sitting around gossiping and can't shut up', Timmy?'

"A statue was built in his honor because he actually delivered on his campaign promises."

"Tom..Tom, you promised not to flame my parents..."

Cloud 10.

'I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable with signing a long term lease.'

'Sorry, but pinky swear doesn't cut it anymore. My attorney has a few documents for you to sign.'

'I love you, but I have to keep moving or I'll suffocate and die.'

Desert crawler sees 'No Crawling' sign.

'My steve is terrified of commitment - he won't even subscribe to magazines.'

R.A. is a nympho.

Negotiations Break Down

The merger is off.

A Commitment Addict

Man stealing a speed camera.

Police officer to conman: 'You're only allowed to keep striped bass.'

'Ronnie has never stopped at amber.'

"I know there's plenty more fish in the sea, Arron, but your bait's too small to attract anything else."