Profit Prioritizer Gifts

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Annual profits,

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

ACME Balloon Company.

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"It's simple supply and demand. The shorter the supply, the more money we demand."

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

Remember take time to stop and smell the profits.

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'That was when I closed five distribution centres, mothballed a factory and sacked 3,000 workers.'

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

"As you can see, we're happy with the sales report."

business

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"How are my sales doing?"

"Thanks to my cost-cutting policies, profits are up 59%."

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'