Profit Pondering T-Shirts

"O.K., who can put a price on love? Jim?"

'Is this your profit?'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

Annual profits,

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

'There are only three things that matter in this world, son... bottom line...'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

"I can't understand it, we did quite well in the first three quarters.

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

business

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'After months of analysing, we found out how to stop your downgoing profits: just find more customers who want to buy your products.'

"We apparently exceeded our expectations but, do any of you remember what they were?"

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Cancel that turkey and prawn sandwich...

'Let's go around the room, and talk about the edgy, creative things we've done so far today.'