Profit Paradox Ponders T-Shirts

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

"I can't understand it, we did quite well in the first three quarters.

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

'Walk softly and carry a large credit line.'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

"Well, we know it's WAY down there, but it may be beyond the range of our equipment."

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

Eco-Terrorism

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"If all countries are in debt, who's got all the money?"

'Our profit dropped because half of our salesmen are in 'How to increase the profit' - training, sir.'

'Thank goodness we don't need profits in order to make piles of money.'

'My work is based on a version of the truth, but I believe the truth to be fluid...'

Since this is a smoke-free building, we'll have to fool the shareholders with mirrors alone.

"He only wears it this time of the year. It's his har-vest."

'Children are all right, Carson, except they're so damned unprofitable.'

"And this is where we introduced our new customer care policy."

You've got to hand it to George..he NEVER lets a sale go without a fight.

'Go crunch these numbers again. They're a little hard to swallow.'

'Hang on, have we got this right?'

"We managed to make ends meet."

'After two days of intensive calculations I have figures out why your company doesn't make any profit: your expenses are too high. That'll be 4, 785,000 euros, please.'

'The good news is, profits are up 74%, the bad news is, we don't know why.'

"O.K., who can put a price on love? Jim?"