Professional Networker Gifts

"I'm sorry, Ms. Farkas can't see you right now. Can you come back when you're more important?"

"So, other than 224 facebook 'likes', do you have any other references?"

"You're the perfect candidate! Unfortunately, we aren't looking for perfect candidates at this time."

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

'Your resume says you are an S.O.B. tell me more about that.'

'Harry's a commercial consultant. He's a lawyer without a law degree.'

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Networking

Bird Tweet.

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

Mark Zuckerberg

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

Network Extending from Buttonhole

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

Salesman I-Pad Business Card

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"I'm Kurt... this brochure will explain the rest."

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

'Mr. Smithdon's at his desk, but he's not really there....He's somewhere out there in cyberspace!'

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

"Good afternoon, Ted. I'm your online presence."

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'I saw it as a networking opportunity.'

'You can social network me behind my ears if you like.'