Productivity Debater Pillows

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

'We need to have a shake-up!'

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

I can outsource your job to someone who'll work longer hours for less money. Less money I can understand...but how do they make the hours longer than 60 minutes?

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

Experience-Productivity Ratio / Age-Salary Ratio.

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

"When I said you're doing a hell of a job, Krueger, I didn't mean it as a compliment!"

GDP and G&T.

"That must be the new 'sit-work' desk."

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

"We lose more productivity to viral internet memes than we do to actual viruses."

"Put down your cell phone and check your job!"

How to boost your work output...

Department of Productivity: Caution - High Speed Revolving Door.

"I find I'm way more productive when I don't prioritize."

"With this system nobody ever needs a holiday. A doctor occasionally, but not a holiday."

"How many work in my department? On a good day probably about half."

"We've increased job satisfaction. Now let's focus on productivity."

"You'll be on the road most days, but when you do come in, this will be your docking station."

"I feel like I got a lot accomplished today."

"You'd be more productive if this was plugged in."

Bill couldn't explain it but every day around 3 o'clock he would hit the wall.