Productivity Coach Gifts

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

"Remember...At the last stroke of 25 minutes, the carriage turns back into a pomodoro."

To do list

Cost Time A = Edit your strategy Bored Tired

doing Impressive VS Easy

"My preferred pronoun is they."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

Time Is Money

Motivation to work

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

The World's First Electronic Paperweight

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

'We need to have a shake-up!'

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

Here's a new Blackberry with a special silent alarm that vibrates and delivers a small electrical shock. We call it the Gooseberry.

"Oh, I can be dependable, and for another £200 a week, I can be productive too."

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

"Our open-space office really stimulates information sharing when everyone removes their noise-cancelling headphones."

Workaholics Anonymous meeting: 'No one showed up. Everyone is working.'

'Im so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all.'

Working Environment

"I think you're becoming a workaholic."

'He's still able to do the work of three committees.'

"Don't wait up for me. I'm going to have to put in an all-winter."

Productivity as a goal

Corporate Cafeteria. I don't care how many toppings you pizza has --- eating it is not multitasking!

'I start my day by making a list of everything I need to do . . . and who I can get to do it for me.'