Production Assistant T-Shirts

Woman at Reality TV Productions Co. has in out boxes marked IN and IN OVER MY HEAD.

'-and where are the CAMERAS I asked for?'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Que tonteria! This says they're making Spanish telenovelas for American TV! How will the characters understand each other...if they're all talking in English!"

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

In basket-case.

Showbiz Awards

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Morning, all!"

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

Cut!

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"This is daring, but I like it."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

Good Luck!

Shake it all about sign on desk

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Canadian film production

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Buster Keaton

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'