Produce Manager T-Shirts

Produce Dept. Notice! Take lettuce from top of stack, or heads will roll.

Manage the inventory better --- Spoilage is bankrupting me! Produce. He's losing money because of all the dead beets. (Published previously on April 21, 2010).

Produce. When I worked at a produce market in England, we lined these up and sold them as "queue-cumbers."

"He's our man in Brussels. . ."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Apples for sale

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'Can our software do that?'

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

Barcode Dreams

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Another Turning Point in the Industrial Revolution. Ford Motor Co. On second thought, let's put the cars on the conveyor belt.

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

'We've re-branded.'

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

GMOs: The Next Generation

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'Yes, it is large for a smart phone, but then it does do absolutely everything.'

Innovation & Calculation

Personnel. Any experience in crisis management? No...Just production.