Product Reviewer Gifts

'I'd like to return this shredder.'

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

Can't Touch This

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

"I've just been reincarnated, anyone here know what iphone we're up to?"

"My best friend is my phone."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

Book publishing.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

The Music Critic.

This action stuff is okay, but try a romance or comedy next time.

Another new, really cool-looking gadget in a desperate search for a problem to solve.

Performance reviews in Hell.

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

"You call that a suit?"

Literary critics have a very special sense of humor.

Factory Recall Unicorn.

"I don't mind if something's Shakespearean, just as long as it it's not Shakespeare."

The Critic...

"What did I think about the play? About an hour too long!"

"Failure is definitely the best teacher, but I'm thinking auditing a class with Success might not hurt."

"How was the play!"

"Writing that book was a real strain."

"...as the devices were nestled on their chargers with care,..."

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."