Probation Periods Pillows

'You can't cash your paychecks until your 6 month probation is satisfactorily over.'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"Well, sure. We could hire some Temps, but they only live about ten days."

Tic-tac-toe

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

"I got probation."

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

Exhibition for Prisoners

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Sweet Jailbreak

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

"Both the movie and I will be released this summer."

'This is my third conviction and I'm still not the black sheep of the family.'

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

Prison Wallpaper.

"Hold on, Brandon. Let your probationary period expire before you start microwaving fish."

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'Tread carefully...it's her extended unfair dismissal qualification period.'

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

Robojudge US patent pending

'I was a computer executive -- but I performed an illegal operation and was shut down.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

Convict Decor

"We're so close that we're finishing each other's sentences."

"Wanna join my hangouts circle?"