Passing Probation Pillows

"I'm pleased to say you have passed the trial period and exceeded our expectations."

Big Bang Theory.

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

Exam

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Bob's Driving School.

"Well, sure. We could hire some Temps, but they only live about ten days."

GCSEs

Having been born with a birthmark that looks exactly like Asia and the Mideast, Russell was able to ace the geography portion of the SATs.

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

Yawning barristers in court

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

Best System in the World

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

"You've passed with extinction!"

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

"I got probation."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

''Congress shall make no law'... now, I wonder what they meant by that...?'

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

Criminal Stupidness

'Judge Mental.'

Counsel examining witness

Two lawyers in a royal court

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

Pinocchio and Partners Lawyers.

There's no such thing as "The Fruit Basket Defense." By any chance, are you referring to "The Fruit of the Poisonous Tree"? That's evidence that was obtained by an illegal action and must be considered inadmissible. Yeah! What you said!!!