Probation Officer Pillows

'I'll be supervising you...'

'Yes, I'm willing to accept the job on a 90-day probational basis. Do I report to my former probation officer?'

Boy with policeman - "That's Kevin's new tagging device!"

Man looking at a storefront that reads "Three Guys on Work Release".

Your probation officer is on line two.

Robojudge US patent pending

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

"Strange!. . . . Other high schools get besieged by headhunters."

"I'm just visiting my probation officer's website"

'It's refreshing that you performed community service for some reason other than to get into a good college.'

"I don't feel you're completely rehabilitated so I'm sending you to a quarter way house."

"Hold my calls, Ms. Jensen, unless it's my probation officer."

"Since you've been here, you've caused nothing but mayhem and and trouble - please, please leave."

"You never want to be taken to see her. Ms. Walker moonlights as a probation officer."

"You call that a jury of my peers? Twelve dopes who couldn't weazel their way out of jury duty??"

"They used to call it solitary."

Probation Officer

'It's an experimental form of house arrest. You're confined and fed massive doses of moral fiber.'

'I feel I need to get some Community Service under my belt first.'

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

Let's make a deal.

'Mr Smith! Great to meet you!' 'Mr. Smith! It's nice to see you!' 'I'm glad to meet you, Mr. Smith!'

Workload Distribution. . .the Big Society is overwhelmed.

Probation Service - "Course I've bettered myself...I've stopped nickin radios an' started nickin cars!"

Pass the parcel...

"I got probation."

False Alarms

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Police Feline Unit

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'