Proactive Health Seeker Gifts

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

Exercise Bars

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"Go out and play. You can't just sit there watching wall all day."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'I'm going to suggest increasing your level of activity.'

Three cases of therapy-resistant low self-esteem

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

"You call that complementary!?!"

Cures for the void.

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

'Everything looks good, Now, we'll just bring in the company psychic to see if you have any pre-existing conditions from a previous life.'

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

"You're carrying a lot of tension in your neck."