Pro Parenting Tips Gifts

'How long did you intern with Grandma before you became a full-fledged Mom?'

City Zoo: Day Care

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"They grow up so fast."

The Baby Walker

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

A mother and baby elephant

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"That is one absorbent nappy."