Pro Bono Lawyer Gifts

'As your lawer, I'm telling you this for nothing, I can't believe I just said that!'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

Barristers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'