Private School Rebel Gifts

"Son, we didn't spend a fortune on your education so you can 'just be yourself.'"

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Yummy Mummies

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

Computer Class.

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"I'd put his name down for Eton if I could spell it!"

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

Private School Interview - 'How much do your parents weigh?'

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

'What did I learn in school today? You can't chew gum in class even if you brought a pack for the teacher.'

"Actually, I'm tired of the man trying to shape our minds so they fit into some pre-arranged societal widget."

'At least you won't have to worry about the rising costs of a college education.'

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

"EINSTEIN! Stop fooling around and pay attention...."

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

'I assume this is a fictionalized version of your algebra homework.'

"Grandma, this is now how some schools say obey the rules."

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

"If everyone is gonna get a universal basic income, what is the point of getting good grades?"

Do we have to know all the letters? I don't use them all when I text.

And beware of washing his man just before a show.

"Timmy, no matter your clothing or counting, school is not prison."

'We should try harder to behave. We're wearing a rut in this floor.'

'No matter how much historical research was done, Roger, students who lead juntas have to be disciplined.'

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

"Yeah, but it's okay because they'll never take me alive again."

'And the coolest dad of the year award goes to... Dr. Armstrong for his note, 'to whom it may concern, my son is allergic to homework'.'

'It's the cresta run, but faster and more dangerous. . .'