School Rebel Gifts

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

"EINSTEIN! Stop fooling around and pay attention...."

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

Thinks he's too cool for school.

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

'At least you won't have to worry about the rising costs of a college education.'

"It's an escape hatch. You know, in case summer doesn't come fast enough."

"Timmy, no matter your clothing or counting, school is not prison."

"Sorry, but I'm out this year. My dad said he'd give me $200 if I went back to school without a fuss."

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

"She sure is lucky... her mom lets her dress like a hooker!"

'We should try harder to behave. We're wearing a rut in this floor.'

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'

'I told the dean I couldn't go to detention because I have detention-deficit-disorder, and he bought it!'

'It's okay, I have a hall pass.'

'No matter how much historical research was done, Roger, students who lead juntas have to be disciplined.'

"Grandma, this is now how some schools say obey the rules."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

Computer Class.

'When played backwards these say terrible things like 'do your homework' and 'clean your room.''

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

'But Father, I don't want to study space time temporal theories in relation to collapsing pulsars, I want to do my own thing!'

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

"I attempted to circumvent the traditional trappings of a teen furlough...but I was thwarted by my czar-ish parental unit."

'I've been doing well in school lately, so I think I'm entitled to some dumbing down.'

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

"Actually, I'm tired of the man trying to shape our minds so they fit into some pre-arranged societal widget."

'What did I learn in school today? You can't chew gum in class even if you brought a pack for the teacher.'

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

'I assume this is a fictionalized version of your algebra homework.'