Privacy Champ Gifts

Personal Information Debate: 'I just need your phone number for this check.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The Anti-Agent

"Too crowded. Let's go."

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'More government surveillance!'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

Police Statetion

"Yes, I'm alone."

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

CCTV in church.

The Best Defense

Privacy

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.