Prison Pundit Pillows

I made my money the old fashioned way... I printed it.

'I was innocent until proven guilty, which took about fifteen minutes.'

'And then the jury decided that I was ready for a long term relationship with the penal code system.'

'Look on the bright side. You haven't paid a penny in tax since you've been here.'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Stop and Birch

When staffing agencies screw up.

"I wouldn't mind, but I only topped the bloomin' thing up last week!"

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

'You're going to stitch me up in this interview aren't you?'

Mismanagement Consultant.

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

"The governor is considering your petition. He has one question: did you vote for him the last election?"

"You know our 'Never-Overwhelm-The-Reader' policy. Your story is irrelevant, trivial and stupid but not irrelevant, trivial and stupid enough."

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'Over the years our company has acquired a face of its own.'

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

EU-budget fight

Ostrich with head buried in newspaper

Convict Decor

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

"It's ridiculous to claim that we've been rewarding investment managers foolishly!"

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

'I was told to reach for the stars but when I did, I was arrested for stalking.'

Newspaper circulation gauge.

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

Martha bakes with her new friends.