Prison Ponderer Pillows

The 'Lifer' Pencil

"The jury decided armed robbery was a lifestyle choice."

'It's all very confusing -- they got me for selling military secrets to the Armed Services Committee.'

A confinement of convicts

School boy collecting prison numbers

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Extreme Sisyphus

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

Retirement Issues

Jesus wept

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

'Holding! Number 74 on the offense!... Fifteen years to life in prison...'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'