Prison System Ponderer Pillows

'Well... unless I screw it up withtime off for good behavior, I'm in for 10 years of free health care!'

Extreme Sisyphus

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

Progress?

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

Retirement Issues

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

'Holding! Number 74 on the offense!... Fifteen years to life in prison...'

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

Are these sessions as soul-deadening for you as they are for me, doctor? Let's not have a contest, Al. Or, if we do, no wagering.

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

A confinement of convicts

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'