Princess Life Fan Pillows

"My life's a goddamn fairy tale."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

"Careful George. You don't want to hurt our baby boy."

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best facelift of them all?

"...but, seriously..."

'Quit playing kick ball with your brother!'

"Don't be out late and stay within Wi-Fi-range."

Fairy Godmother

"You call that a KISS?"

"Dad! Woody's taking all the fun out of the Easter egg hunt!"

Mom - You gave me the best years of your life.

"And, because a princess can't be forced to testify against her prince, they lived happily ever after."

Proper little princess.

"Somehow, Daniel, you're not as cute as you used to be, and you're beginning to lose our attention."

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."

"I knew I should have checked the meter."

'Dad, can you just drop me off here?'

'My next of kin? †My wicked stepmother, I guess.'

'That's what you get for reaching in the cookie jar.'

I pay 125 clams a year on road taxes.

"I want to be whichever Disney princess is the most bad-assed."

"When you kiss me Daddy, your whiskers tickle me!"

Disney Princess 1950s - 3000

Prince

"He's pretty depressed - Ginger Spice was his favorite."

Princess

'Are you sure your grandpa REALLY got your nose?'

Cinderella, you shall go to the ball!

"Were you just humming the Spice Girls?"

"I used to let down my hair. But since I've gone wireless, I just use all my old wires."

Kissagram

"Oh good. Here comes Mrs. Wood with her grandson, the Achilles heel."

Sleeping Beauty