Princess Life Fan Pillows

"My life's a goddamn fairy tale."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

"Careful George. You don't want to hurt our baby boy."

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best facelift of them all?

Geri Halliwell.

"...but, seriously..."

'Quit playing kick ball with your brother!'

"And that won't wake me either."

"Don't be out late and stay within Wi-Fi-range."

"You call that a KISS?"

Fairy Godmother

"Dad! Woody's taking all the fun out of the Easter egg hunt!"

Mom - You gave me the best years of your life.

"And, because a princess can't be forced to testify against her prince, they lived happily ever after."

"I knew I should have checked the meter."

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."

Proper little princess.

"Somehow, Daniel, you're not as cute as you used to be, and you're beginning to lose our attention."

'Dad, can you just drop me off here?'

'My next of kin? †My wicked stepmother, I guess.'

Prince

"When you kiss me Daddy, your whiskers tickle me!"

'That's what you get for reaching in the cookie jar.'

"He's pretty depressed - Ginger Spice was his favorite."

I pay 125 clams a year on road taxes.

Disney Princess 1950s - 3000

"I want to be whichever Disney princess is the most bad-assed."

Princess

'Are you sure your grandpa REALLY got your nose?'

Cinderella, you shall go to the ball!

"Oh good. Here comes Mrs. Wood with her grandson, the Achilles heel."

I saw your band's latest video on Youtube, little buddy. What'd you think? It looked a lot like the climactic scene from "Purple Rain," only with your head instead of Prince's. Deepfakes are a legitimate form of artistic expression. If you want to complain, complain to the A.I. that made it. When the lawyers show up, I'm pretty sure the A.I.'s going to rat you out.

"I used to let down my hair. But since I've gone wireless, I just use all my old wires."

"Were you just humming the Spice Girls?"