Prince Pillows

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

'Believe me, son, she's a much better choice for you than that skinny girl, Cinderella!'

'Some other king called while you were out -- he said it was important.'

'Might doesn't make right, Son, but it's the next best thing.'

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'

'Don't you EVER do that again!'

'Oh, that's your Grandpa -- I couldn't bring myself to cut his head off.'

'I thought you and Mom didn't believe in spanking!'

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"Well, no wonder you can't think! There's your brain over there on the floor!"

Father changing nappy, "Heir freshener"

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

"It's just - this McDonald's closes at midnight."

"I don't want to sound desperate, but either you transform me with a kiss or I end up dissected in a ninth-grade science lab."

'I think the meeting went reasonably well until he threatened to call security.'

To my future King.

Dragon enjoying a drink with knight.

'I'm writing a poem -- what rhymes with 'hegemony'?'

Prince

Prince

'I don't care if I have been here for a hundred years! What kind of pervert kisses a girl while she's sleeping?!'

I think the revolution's started - his room's in an awful mess!

'He abdicated his throne and got into software.'

'Come back later -- he's grooming his successor.'

'When I grow up, Dad, I want to be just like you.'

"After the prince finds Cinderella, do they decided to drop out of royal family, like Prince Harry and Meghan?"

'It's spring, you were once a toad, no wonder you're so jumpy!'

'Ever since I started wearing this fake crown, lovely girls have kept coming up and kissing me...'

'The world's oldest gag in the IT age.'

'Happy Birthday, Son! -- We got you your own Swiss bank account!'

'Happy Birthday, Son! -- We got you your own Swiss bank account!'

'We need a big publicity push, we have to get you in the news, one of you needs to develop a heavy drug problem.'