Party Prince Pillows

'The world's oldest gag in the IT age.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"I, TikTok."

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"Oh, God! I had EXACTLY the right amount to drink last night."

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

Disco Owls

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

"Same old crowd."

"Well, no wonder you can't think! There's your brain over there on the floor!"

"You've got to blurb me to her."

'I think the meeting went reasonably well until he threatened to call security.'

"Glad I had a pretzel before leaving the house; I'd hate to drink all that on an empty stomach."

"Do you think you could give me a hand? The guests will be here any minute."

A frat party at an online university

Two inebriated friends meet, one says: 'Hello, I've not seen you since you were this high.'

'I got mine at a garage sale for only 99 cents.'

Great party - thanks.

Late Bloomers.

'zzz... nyarrrgh... fwa... ...ack... k... na...graa...' - '' - 'I just had the worst dream...' - '' - 'Oh, b***ocks.' - ''

The morning after the office Christmas Party

'I don't care if I have been here for a hundred years! What kind of pervert kisses a girl while she's sleeping?!'

I think the revolution's started - his room's in an awful mess!

Fancy dress party: "I'm afraid I've just come in my shorts."

arrogant child showing off her knowledge of ancient history at a party

'Meadow fescue, meadow grass and perennial ryegrass! This is going to be the best party ever!'

The guy who's always pretending to know what's going on.

"I've never seen Tom enjoy himself so much at a party, Joan! When did he quit drinking?"

Bling bling merrily on high.

"I'm sure you two will discover that you're both plagued by the same nonexistent problems."

Happy Anniversary

"That's it...it's so obvious! Girls go crazy for mindless slugs who only want to party all night long!"