Primitive Sports Fan Gifts

The invention of baseball.

"Good game."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Mixed Doubles.

Spring Training

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"This round, forget the finesse. Hit him."

Sheltering in place.

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."