Prime-time Paradox Lover Pillows

'National Public Television now presents 'Monday Night Chess'!'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

The Meaning of Life

'Applicant wacked out, suggest immediate promotion.'

"We have ways of making you say yes, but I want you to want to say yes."

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

Grenadiers

European Thinkers (2): 'Surf's up!'

Right Against Right.

Zeno Gives Directions

Moses with the Ten Commandments on a Ski Lift

'Say that again and you're a dead man!'

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

'The doctor told me to get away for a while..Where I live, in the country, it's just too quiet for me, so I've come here for a vacation.'

"Is that your beeper or my beeper?"

The City that Never Sleeps.

Fastest slowest animal

'Making these snacks low-fat was great because substituting sweetener for fat made them even more addictive.'

Smoking in the Paradise.

'Will this take long? I'm late for a very important date.'

'I'm afraid you're a hypochondriac Mr Jenkins... but luckily we have a pill for that!'

"But it's peak viewing time. I feel guilty not having the TV switched on..."

"We've come a long way since the me-and-now society."

Interpreting butterflies.

Man, who appears stressed, says to woman in pub: 'I'm into outdoor pursuits ??" smoking, for example.'

'Ms. Stimpson... cancel my high noon appointment.'

Please help! Grateful for spare change... Will accept Venmo and bitcoin.