Primate Whisperer T-Shirts

'Say it like you MEAN it!'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Quick, start the car!"

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Dog Dreams

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'You know too much!'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

The Worm Charmer

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"That is an outrageous slur."

"This never happened."

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'