Price Planners Pillows

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"We only got six days of funding."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

ACME Balloon Company.

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

Keep the econoimy moving

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

Engineer on the move.

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

"I see the businessman's lunch is up 50p."

Father Time Management

Bureau of Inflation.

Bad Office Planning

'It's a relatively simple operation...first, we take out your wallet...'

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

Clear construction agreements are important.

"I thought an illogical framework would work better."