Budget-friendly Planners Pillows

'We can only offer you our basic dental plan: this dental floss and a pack of sugar-free gum.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

Keep the econoimy moving

'It's a relatively simple operation...first, we take out your wallet...'

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

"Before we cut the cake, I want to thank my bride for bringing our wedding in under budget."

Hi! You want to, like, hang out? Sure. When are you free? Twig! Time to pack. We're leaving!! In about a year? It's on my iCal.

Monk & Mandi: "Mom, this top is too tight!"

'Never, Ever...plan to pay for just an oil change when you take your car to the shop.'

"This wasn't the kind of budget cuts I had in mind."

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

Sale: His and Her's weekender bags.

'Lester, were you just trying to save a few bucks by using toilet paper in the fax machine, or does this mean we've been using thermal fax paper in the john for the past six months?'

'As a graduation present my parents ae going to remodel their basement for my home.'

'Smart bloke.'

'Today's your birthday? Then add a birthday cake to my grocery list and run an errand during lunch to the florist for flowers under $10.00.'

Wedding pictures.

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'

"Our new double glazing has almost paid for itself - the kids can't hear the ice cream van anymore."

"I've had a look at our revised pension forecast..."

'I hope he doesn't bring in a belthole tax.'

“I have $3, a dairy allergy, and a very specific pallete. What can you do for me?”

'This is your captain in the event of a decrease in cabin air pressure, the oxygen mask will drop down and you will be billed $2 per breath.'

"You know, I wouldn't have to pay for this if you were still my son."

'It's our first. Don't know where to begin. Haven't even picked out a domain name.'

"Will you marry me in a low-cost ceremony in which we get your friends to make the cake and do the flowers?"

"I recommend using your third wish to prevent joint pain in later years."

Life insurance company

"What wine goes best with a cheap date?"

'Now that you've had an hour to enjoy your bonus, when are we going to spend it?'