Price-cut Champion Gifts

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

Sale.

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

"Turns that out! - We're supposed to be saving energy!!"

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

Crisis Buzz.

Janet always was ahead of the curve...she outsourced herself.

"Moreover, profits double if we move in with our parents."

'If I'm going to do an effective job of reducing costs, I'm going to need a bigger budget.'

'And finally, there's option three, a classic business model that would reduce our marketing, supply-chain and production expenses by 85 percent!' '

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

"I can build it. My price is 300 oxen and a flock of sheep. A roof would be 250 sheep extra."

"We're cutting costs now, so get rid of the petting zoo."

'It's so expensive because it doesn't do as much as other computers and it's harder to use.'

"I've decided to forgo expensive gifts with acts of apathy."

How to do without

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go...we've just sourced somebody in Mumbai who's 34% better at being you for 29% less!'

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

'I've just thought of a way to save the company £1800 a month.'

'Sir, our new automated telephone system saves us $20,000 annually, but our phone business has dropped 66%!'

"I'm finding this model very economical!"

"This wasn't the kind of budget cuts I had in mind."

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

"One day this will all be outsourced."

Thrift: bathe fully dressed and wash your clothes at the same time

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

"The good news is we're going paperless. The bad news is it's the employee's bathrooms."

"I didn't hire a photographer. I thought we'd save a few bob by just taking, wedding selfies."