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Consumer Weekly �9.50 - Rip-Off Britain

Miserable hour - Come in and moan about the price...

"With the economy the way it is, I thought I'd start a garden. One million vegetables shoudl be enough."

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"Surgery up here is free!"

Sale.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

Crisis Buzz.

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'When I first saw here I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, but not with beer at these prices!'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

Low income vampires.

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

Affordable housing

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

Sam's Nation Building

'I know you're trying to keep health care costs down - but what kind of life support systems are these?'

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

Avocado Prices