Price Checker Pillows

'Herbert's Doctor recommended shock treatments, so I brought him here so he could check out the prices.'

"Have a nice day?"

'Don't blame me darling, it's due to the bad winter, global warming, commodity scarcity, fuel price rises, the increase in the wealth of China, market rent rises and inflation.'

"We will indeed be facing numerous enraged customers."

"Boy, talk about inflation! When I was a little kid, that only cost $2.50!"

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

"Would you like to see the markup?"

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

"I see the businessman's lunch is up 50p."

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

The Price of Nothing

Bureau of Inflation.

'What a bargain!'

Short Memories

'I can lend 100% on the new car, but only 70% on the tank of gas.'

Chicago School of Home Economics

Gas prices up.

Moanathon.

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

"Do you have all those things in stock?"

"Someone's gone to look for a price - they won't be long!"

"We need to reduce our overheads."

"It's adjusted for inflation. A dollar a chip."

"Yes, Madam, I know they were 78 p last week, but have you seen the price of oil?"

Customer: 'Do you have anything for the same price that doesn't cost so much?'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

Gas price rollercoaster.

"Builder's tea? Due to an unforeseen rise in material costs, that'll be £22.40."

Bakery. Cakes $6.66. Upside Down Cakes $9.99.

"If you want extra virgin oil on the salad that's a £5 supplement...."

Cards. Birthday. I don't know if 50 is the new 40, but apparently $4.95 is the new buck-fifty!