Previous Universe Traveler T-Shirts

"I'd just as soon it wasn't cut into those funny little pieces, if you don't mind."

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

"We're following Carrot Top."

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

The Missing Sock Returns

'That's about it so far, Son.'

E=mc2.

Second hand furniture.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Time for vacation, time for work.

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

How am I abducting?

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Danger Slow Sand.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"