Pretentious Page-turner T-Shirts

Coffee-table kids' books

"Oh, this old thing?"

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

Reading

"You notice all the books behind me...one of these days I'll get around to read one."

Bibliomaniac

The Last Non E-Book In The World.

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"I wouldn't read that book, dear... it's only there to impress visitors."

"It was so noisy in there - all those pages turning."

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

"Poor kid, his parents gave him a book for Christmas."

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

"Frankly, I don't believe his tastevin is in the repair shop."

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

'I should know who he is! His work is in every gallery I go into.'

'Tell the doctor I'll be with him in another page and a half.'

"I know it's a foreign book...but I'm reading it with a local accent."

Prehistoric Pop-Up Books Club

'I have high hopes of Wisden knocking the Da Vinci code off the top of the best sellers list.'

'TV on the blink?'

Writer's block

"I sort of imagined with a live reading, he'd be reading out loud."

"Really, there was no need to regurgitate the whole thing."

"For a second there I thought I heard a page turn, as if someone was actually reading a book. Must be repressed memories from the old days."

Books: Meet the Guy Who Sells the Books

'Couldn't finish it. I got reader's block.'

Best Sellers/New Release/Books You Still Haven't Finished Yet Claire

New Acquisitions at the Museum of Modern Food

"Have you got a thrilling, magnificent saga that can also teach me how to make a bundle in real estate with no money down?"

"I don't care, I'm on the last page."

"Can we just wait until they make the film?"