Page-turner Aficionado T-Shirts

'Couldn't finish it. I got reader's block.'

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

"Can we just wait until they make the film?"

"Meet The Author"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

Ironing Punctuation

My Literary Influences

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

Editor.

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

"Well, the falcon cannot hear the falconer, but the rough beast found a piece of string so I don't know where that leaves us."

Library

"What would you recommend to hold a seven-year-old girl's attention in a car from East Seventy-eighth Street to Bridgehampton?"

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"You have to pick the places you don't walk away from."—Joan Didion, Penny, Joan Didion.

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

Reading

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

The Last Non E-Book In The World.

Bibliomaniac

Lord Byron