Pretentious Page-turner Mugs

Coffee-table kids' books

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

"Oh, this old thing?"

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

Reading

"You notice all the books behind me...one of these days I'll get around to read one."

The Last Non E-Book In The World.

Bibliomaniac

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"I wouldn't read that book, dear... it's only there to impress visitors."

"It was so noisy in there - all those pages turning."

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

"Frankly, I don't believe his tastevin is in the repair shop."

"Poor kid, his parents gave him a book for Christmas."

'I should know who he is! His work is in every gallery I go into.'

'Tell the doctor I'll be with him in another page and a half.'

"I know it's a foreign book...but I'm reading it with a local accent."

'I have high hopes of Wisden knocking the Da Vinci code off the top of the best sellers list.'

'TV on the blink?'

Writer's block

"I sort of imagined with a live reading, he'd be reading out loud."

"For a second there I thought I heard a page turn, as if someone was actually reading a book. Must be repressed memories from the old days."

Books: Meet the Guy Who Sells the Books

'Couldn't finish it. I got reader's block.'

Best Sellers/New Release/Books You Still Haven't Finished Yet Claire

New Acquisitions at the Museum of Modern Food

"I don't care, I'm on the last page."

"Can we just wait until they make the film?"

"Have you got a thrilling, magnificent saga that can also teach me how to make a bundle in real estate with no money down?"

Pulp fiction on bookshelf dripping into bucket.