Pretentious Language Detectors T-Shirts

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Oh, this old thing?"

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"You notice all the books behind me...one of these days I'll get around to read one."

Scouse For Beginners

These young people need everything spelled out to them! I miss the old days, when a wink was a wink, and a nod was a nod.

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"I wouldn't read that book, dear... it's only there to impress visitors."

"My conclusion that he lied was based on his body language, his polygraph results, and the complete implausibility of his story."

"I detect an accent – money?"

"Your body language says you've lost interest."

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"Frankly, I don't believe his tastevin is in the repair shop."

'Jim I don't think you have quite go this 'Iron Man Challenge' thing.'

'You daft cow...I said I needed some company and was out for a duck!'

'I should know who he is! His work is in every gallery I go into.'

Cowboy on horse sees diretion sign for 'thataway'.

"Our researchers have discovered that 'E' is the most common, and only, letter in the dolphin alphabet."

"Something’s wrong. I can tell by the way you’re being nice to me."

''Pop'? In my part of the country they're called a 'Soda-Tart'.'

Quality Control

'My course covers all the dead languages.'

'I'm afraid he has sweeny flu.'

"My French is OK but you should really see my Reportese..."

'Birmingham AY to ZEE'

'I'm not paying for another misspelling, and give me back the rhngchtanza!'

'And LET that be a lesson to you! Next time pick on someone your own shoe size!' (the aftermath of a shoe fight)

'Please don't judge a book by its curse words.'

'After 15 years in management I've learnt how to read people. I can sense that there's something wrong.'

I say if life gives you tapens, make tapenade.

New Acquisitions at the Museum of Modern Food