Pretend Pioneer Gifts

A boy dressed as a cowboy riding a stick horse encounters a stick with a cow's skull at the end lying on the ground.

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

October 11, 2009: History is made when 8-year-old Tommy Wurtner becomes the first child to enter space.

'Now this is my kind of green!'

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

"Let's f**k up Mars!"

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

"So our agreed strategy is to dominate the market and it creeps profits by 670%. Anybody any idea how to do it?"

Businessman with two boxes: 'Innovate' and 'Out of Date'

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

Play the Trick or Treat Game!

'That's the first nickel I took in!'

"Take a pill in the morning, in the afternoon and at night."

"Really? You'd like to be part of this?"

Man climbing line chart, planting profit flag.

'This is where we shed all our inhibitions.'

'You don't either have a date with Dora the Explorer!'

Pioneers of the ancient west

'Never mind the delicate balance of nature - what about the delicate balance of business and finance?'

Along with being the first passengers on the space elevator, Fenwick and Charles set a new world record for longest awkward elevator silence.

Davy Crocat

Life Discovered on Mars

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

Look at those guys with their wheel, spears, fire and writing --- The geeks will inherit the earth.

'If I don't think inside the box... why should I think outside the box?'

"Sadie, they found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we've discovered in my lifetime." "It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are." "...Unless they've got telescopes." "It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus." "I see you're bringing what passes for your 'A-game' today."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this seminar is about how to make profits in times of crisis..."

"Let's all go out & get drunk."

Ambitions. . . To Make It To The Top.

"That's more like it!"

Ben Okri

Early American Think Tank.